Friday, September 24, 2010

The Middle Seat

Danny Ceballos Tell me Purser... what's the appropriate and effective way, when one is in a middle seat, of letting the people on either side of you know that you are ENTITLED to both armrests!! It makes me CRAZY that people are so f'ing selfish without realizing it. Ahhh... I feel better just asking the question. Thanks Purser!

Dear Frequent Flyer Danny-

Since you were assigned a middle seat in "the village," you are obviously poor and purchased your ticket on "I'". You are entitled to nothing let alone armrests. I recommend bringing your flight crew a small gift like chocolates from your local specialty shop and the crew may make eye contact with you as you try to wiggle your elbows onto the corners of the armrests. The chocolates may cost you more than that middle seat you purchased so it's really your call. Ahhh.... I feel better too! Glad I can help.

See ya' on the red-eye,
Purser Liz


  1. Dear Purser Liz,

    What should we do when we have a 93 yr old man come into the galley and start unbuttoning his buckle and proceeding to try and pee on the meal cart! We were lucky enough to get him into the bathroom, where he stood up sleeping for the next 20 minutes. He finally started to come alive in the next hour, after we found out he had taken 3 sleeping pills! Yikes!

  2. Have him pee in a jar & give to any musician onboard who needs to pass the next random drug test. Or, he Lindsay Lohan is on your next flight, give it to her. (Wait a minute, if he took 3 sleeping pills, his urine wouldn't be "clear".

    From a UAL Stewardess of the 50s who used to give baby aspirin to little old ladies who threatened to be airsick when I ran out of Dramamine. Placebo; worked every time. Mind over matter.

  3. I put my 2 cents in under my post chicken or pee pee chicken!! Thanks for the question -Purser Liz